Me Time

Midnight. My mind wanders to Summer in Houston. Clear skies. New moon. 89 degrees with a cool breeze. He was dark and warm like my favorite crewneck. That night he reached depths inside of me I was unaware existed.

1AM. Memories whirl as fast as a Caribbean storm, a wreck with high chances of self destruction. I flash to a gazebo in Wilmington where we took cover from the rain. We talked about our fathers. Past lives. Dragonball Z. I played my favorite song. It was his too, like my heart after he kissed me.

2AM. We escape to Miami, I am terrified of jet skis but not as I hold him. With him fear does not exist. Open ocean. He tells me to scream. I am free.

3AM. I am jealous of the moon because she knows all his secrets, the ones I lack the courage to ask him about. I wander to the nights we stayed up gazing at the stars. And that bridge that splits to let boats pass.

4AM. I check my phone. He texted me. They know all the words to our song. The one he wrote as I was giving up hope.

5AM. I am jealous of the sheets who get to touch every part of him as he sleeps. I keep a close eye on the empty, cold pillow beside me. I hug the stuffed animal cat I named “cat” which seemed like a sign when he won it at the fair. My mind begins to go lightly back to him falling asleep on my chest.

6AM. The sun begins to rise. The most blessed of them all. When he’s groggy, running to his next flight and painfully unaware of how handsome he looks, it kisses his lips with light.

7AM. Love rains down on me and hits my chest almost as hard as his many betrayals. But, nightmares only last one night. When dreaming with a broken heart waking up is the best part.